Lost Road Part I: “Mama, I think this was a mistake…”

We have a mysterious road on our 5-acre property, likely untouched by human feet for 70 years, and discovered by me just weeks ago. I described the discovery in more detail before – specifically, why it would take nearly 30 years to discover an entire road on a 5-acre piece of land; I posted a picture. The land has been in my family since 1982; the house that sits on it is an historic brothel.

A couple of weeks ago my 7-year-old son and I set out with a pair of hand pruners to clear the entry to the road and to become the first humans to step foot on the road in 70 years. We took a granola bar.

Notice our excitement as we posed at the entry of the road, first Frederick by himself in front of some bushy native plants and then Frederick and I together. Within fifteen minutes of these photos we would be running like two little girls.

I examined all possible access routes based on shrubbery and terrain. It soon become apparent that our biggest obstacle was the animal nest that lay in the middle of a shrub in the middle of the mysterious road. All access points required that we pass the nest.

“Frederick, that nest probably belongs to pack rats but it’s possible it’s a skunk nest. Listen to me closely. As we pass that nest, whatever runs out, your biggest concern should not be getting sprayed. If we get sprayed, we’ll go home, take a tomato bath, and stink the house up. Make sure you don’t get bitten.”

I hacked away at the shrubbery.

“We’re ready to go now Frederick. Let me get down first. If an animal is going to run out, it might as well be when I’m passing the nest.”

I climbed down to the road and turned around to hold my hand out to Frederick. He was about fifteen feet away behind a shrub and a rock.

“I’m hiding from the skunks, Mama.”

“It’s all clear. Take my hand. Let’s go.”

I guided Frederick past the nest. We passed some more shrubs and stood at the beginning of the mysterious road. Tall oak trees darkened our path but the road in front of us was fairly clear of debris. A steep ledge fell to our left, a high grade to our right, an animal nest lay at our back. An unfamiliar sound came from that nest.

“Mama, I have a bad feeling about this. I think we should go back.”

“Honey, we’re the first humans on this road in 70 years. Who cares if it’s dark and scary. Let’s check it out.”

The road was well-lit where we stood but it appeared almost cavernous as we looked down the path. “Really, Mama, this was a bad idea. I can climb that ledge right there. I’m not going back by those skunks.”

I have to say that Cody Edwards on Twitter is spot on in his analysis of this road: "I'm thinking fantasy or horror, preferably the former with witches." There are actually rumors that a witch lived at the other end of this road. Would I kid you about that? I know that as I stood there looking at the darkness, the skunks were not my biggest concern.

We scrambled off the road.

A friend suggested that I visit the lost road this coming Halloween night. I've eaten spider legs and I've held a pulsating and bleeding rattle snake but I'm quite sure that I am not exploring the lost road this Saturday night unless a whole bunch of Tweeters show up at my door for cover.

Comments

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